Last Friday while I was conducting some important business that my very livelihood depends, I was stopped by the NY State Court security officers as a strange object was discovered in my bag. Of course as I appreciate the keen observational abilities of our sentinels of public safety and accept their sworn oaths to protect, we were able to put the matter to rest with nary a raised tone nor injured pride. I was beckoned by the technician behind the X-ray machine so to describe the object with the shape of which he was most unfamiliar. As he tilted the monitor in my direction he queried what that dense, triangular shadow may be. I offered to then produce from my bag the object of his desire so that he may examine it with the rigor that only the naked eye can provide. As he weighed it in his hand and examined it from all useful angles, he did not ask me why I carried such an item with me in my bag. Anticipating the question that never came, I quickly formulated a truthful and heartfelt reply that I will now share to my readers and members of the club.
"Sir, as I am the self-appointed conductor of a major motion art picture, the object you clearly desire some explanation to is not mystical nor is it edible. I keep it on my person at all times as unlike my chili pepper plant, it makes me happy and occasionally gets me laid."
With no explanation necessary I was motioned to the desk clerk who without emotion took my article and slid it into a clear, plastic bag... a bag without breathing holes! I stifled a gasp and took a copy of the receipt, which I have posted above. After attending to my business which took about three-quarters of an hour, I presented the clerk with my receipt. With the correct dosage of apathy she took my property from out of the bag and placed it in my hand. As the transaction went so smoothly, I was overtaken with the feeling to be collegial and asked if many of such items had tried to make it inside the halls of justice. Without wasting the energy to even look in my direction, she uttered, "Nope."Continue reading
I call this piece of photorealismjournalism, "The Confluence of Three Furry Fibers." It proves once and for all that we are pure mammalian. As you can see we have differing melanin in our beard, chest and head hair. We have not artificially colored the shaft in any way. According to the Andre Walker system, we are a Type 1a. Straight (fine/thin) 'Hair tends to be very soft, shiny, oily and poor at holding curls, but difficult to damage.' I am saying 'we' a lot here because sometimes I shoot my own films under the name of Sheldon. In fact when I do, I wear a hat that says "cinematographer" (not pictured here.) We were going to write a musical called "Hair" but Sheldon reminded me that that already happened. So we decided instead to make a T-Shirt. Please visit our store to reserve yours today. Take all the time you need to reflect on this.Continue reading
JONES turns 10-Years-Old! (or there abouts...) Can you believe it? Our very first feature has hit a milestone. As it lost its lease on FANDOR so to speak so we have it up on Vimeo On Demand for rental or purchase. Also the DVD is also available if you feel like watching it on yer 10-yr-old hi-fi, loaded with a mess of goodies on it.
In other news we'll shortly be loading up GOD's LAND on the same streaming platform. Also perhaps some material from the upcoming 'l'Odge d'Oor.' In the meantime, go out and ride a subway to Queens like JONES and maybe take pictures of Time Square before it changes again....
Greetings Goodly Humans,
It is I, the Toastmaster General of this here Vindaloo Philm-Wallah website, a place to find the work of myself and sundry partners in the subconscious. Introducing the 'Blog' on the official 19th anniversary to the day I asked my friend Davidji, "what's a blog?" Here I intend to be subversive without being overly political, although lack of reason seems to be trending among those who believe they are in charge. Regardless, more stream-of consciousness here than insightful instruction on life, at least until info and imagery regarding our new feature, "l'Odge d'Oor" is released shortly. In the meantime, find time to raise a glass to your support animal, no matter the species!Continue reading