I call this piece of photorealismjournalism, "The Confluence of Three Furry Fibers." It proves once and for all that we are pure mammalian. As you can see we have differing melanin in our beard, chest and head hair. We have not artificially colored the shaft in any way. According to the Andre Walker system, we are a Type 1a. Straight (fine/thin) 'Hair tends to be very soft, shiny, oily and poor at holding curls, but difficult to damage.' I am saying 'we' a lot here because sometimes I shoot my own films under the name of Sheldon. In fact when I do, I wear a hat that says "cinematographer" (not pictured here.) We were going to write a musical called "Hair" but Sheldon reminded me that that already happened. So we decided instead to make a T-Shirt. Please visit our store to reserve yours today. Take all the time you need to reflect on this.